Happy Birthday, Sofia

April 17, 2008

Dear Sofia,

Tomorrow you’re going to be four years old. Four! If I wasn’t here for the whole thing, I would scarcely believe it. But here you are, in preschool, growing smarter and taller and more precious by the day.

And although four years have truly flown by -- I can still, very clearly, remember your first moments in our realm and the milestones in your first year of life -- I cannot imagine a time when I didn’t know you. When I didn’t cherish the time we spent time together playing and having “just you and me” time and adventures at the YMCA or the supermarket. When I didn’t miss you during the day at work and worry about you when you went away on trips with mom or stayed over with grandma.. When I wasn’t completely melted when you said “I love you daddy” or called me your best friend in the whole world and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Two years ago, you still needed to be pushed around in your little plastic car (the one that made you plaintively shout “my carrrrr!!!!!” when we took you out of it). A year ago you were just figuring out how to coordinate your legs to try to pedal a tricycle. Now you’re moving onto a bike with training wheels (and you'll need a biggger one, it turns out), and the plastic car and tricycle went out to the curb last week for other little boys and girls somewhere to use.

Two years ago you were just learning letters and singing the alphabet. Now you’re oh so close to learning to read .. and when that happens, there will be no stopping you -- even moreso than when you finally learned to walk, then run. At that moment your natural curiosity will take over and take you down any road you want to travel, any time you choose -- and then we’ll really have to watch (and marvel at) where you run next.

You’ve always been able to wow us with your dance moves. But now you’re taking dance classes and learning ballet and jazz movement -- and the gains in balance and confidence are noticeable. You’re getting better at throwing and kicking the soccer ball in the yard, running and jumping and even tackling me in the living room -- though you’re getting too big to do that. You can sled down the hill at the high school all by yourself and climb back up with some help. You can go for long walks around the block with us. You're setting the dinner table and insisting on doing more and more yourself ... you get upset (offended, even!) when I do something that you want to prove you can do on your own.

You've got friends at school and you're befriending your relatives .. especially those grandmas and uncles.

You’ve always liked horsing around and having us pick you and swing you around upside down. It was easier when you were two years old and smaller. Now you’re taking tumbling classes and learning how to do somersaults and hang upside down on the bars. And you’re just about too big for either of us to pick up. You used to stand on my chest or my shoulders and I’d hold your hands and sing the “So Big” song to the melody of Miles Davis’ “So What”:

Let me tell you ‘bout Sofia, So big!
She’s a very big girl, So big!
Every day she keeps growing, So big!
She grows and grows, So big!
But now you’re too big to do that. So we’ll have to invent new games, songs and dances.

I am continually amazed by the things you say and the things you can do. Words like “frustrated,” “reflection” and “appreciate” have come out of your mouth, in context -- that just knocks us over. You’re writing your own name -- first and last -- and learning how to spell words. You only talk to us in complete sentences … and your grammar, frankly, is better than mine. You’re polite and sweet and funny when we go out and you never fail to charm folks .. And make us super proud. Every single day.

It’s also becoming clearer how sensitive you are -- you care about being a good girl and living up to that standard, and you take it hard when we correct you. Your mom and dad were sensitive children, too, and well I’m still pretty easily hurt sometimes, too -- so sometimes I worry about that. I want to tell you what 40 years of life have taught your mom and me -- that so much of what upsets us, in the end, really isn’t that important after all. But I also know that you’ll grow up to be someone who cares about people and will think of others and not only of herself. And that’s a good thing.

But I am also thrilled that you got the same silly sense of humor your mom and dad do and that you revel in silliness, which I’m only too happy to share with you.

Sometimes you get frustrated at first when things don’t go right, and it makes you hesitant to try again. But you’re so proud when you’re finally able to do those things, too .. And you love to tell me all about what you’re going to do when you’re bigger. You say you’re going to “touch the sky” when you’re big. You look forward to going to school with the big kids, too. You even told me you can’t wait to drive a car. (Everything in time, friend.)

It’s been a whirlwind, these past four years. I very clearly remember your first days with us and how our lives changes so profoundly from that moment. Everything that has happened since then has been for you, about you and with you. And we haven’t minded that in the least; in fact we have embraced it as surely as we have embraced you. For you are the most beautiful thing in our world; you, the little girl we realized we had known all our lives from the moment we met you. You are not in our hearts as much as you are our hearts and we love you with all of it.

Every day when I turn on my computer at work I see your face on my screen and stop to think of you. And every night when I put you to bed, I kiss your head and finish our prayers with this: “And God bless Sofia, and keep her growing big and strong and happy and healthy and strong and safe.” And I close the door and walk downstairs and without fail tell mama “I love that girl so much.”

And as you start to hit your stride this year and really become a big girl, I hope you’ll remember that … and go into this world with the confidence that mom and dad are right behind you and think the world of you.

Love, Daddy

better late than ever

We've been really, really lame about updating this blog.
Months of inactivity. No new postings. No news, no asides, no pictures, nothing.
And you're wondering how Sofia's doing.
Well, we're back and relaunching SSW ... there have been so many changes in our girl's life, so much growing and learning and specialness, and it's high time we got back to sharing it.
Regularly.
So try, try again. More posts to come soon ... her highness needs to be put to bed.
- Greg